This year more than any other, the value of 'worst of' lists has been endlessly debated and often criticised. Some see the lists as obnoxious, hatefully-bashing entities that spread negativity; others feel they need to get something off their chest. As you've probably figured with a post entitled '2018 in Film: Worst Of', I fall into that latter category because if a film has wasted my time, energy and resources, I believe I'm entitled to a little bit of a moan (it's what us British specialise in after all). As long as it isn't too personal - and I'd like to note now that everyone involved in the production of these misfires is capable of far better - then I think we're good to go.
Escaping the bottom ten, but not immune from my wrath are a number of the year's dishonourable mentions: The Nun, Skyscraper, Den of Thieves, Border, Night School, Downsizing and Sorry To Bother You. The final one took up the mantle of 'Films Everyone Loved But Nathan Hated', alongside You Were Never Really Here, while The Little Strangers, Mary Magdalene and Father Figures were within the danger zones too.
But let's not dwell too scathingly on the 'almosts' and cast your eyes over what I consider to be the worst films released in 2018 -- based on the UK release date.
10. Gringo
Dir. Nash Edgerton
Release: 9th March
Gringo is the worst thing a comedy can be: unfunny. On top of that, it is an overstuffed, poorly-constructed and ill-meaning effort, a dark and mean film without the light-heartedness to balance it out. That a rather admirable cast are stranded in such a distasteful picture is a real blow, with only Charlize Theron emerging with the smallest shred of dignity, giving me a minor chuckle with a line about her lunch -- the only slight inclination of humour across its 111-minute runtime.
Dir. Jeff Wadlow
Released: 13th April
Slick visuals turn Truth or Dare into a glossy affair, but one with neither the violence or imagination to remotely elevate the film. It is as lame as it lazy, predictably awful with more eye-rolls than effective scares, stemming from a lack of creativity; the slasher moments are lame, lacking imagination within the set pieces that bored me - nevermind the characters - to death. It's so empty, a half-baked and hollow horror that stains the Blumhouse reputation, halting their impressive run of brilliant original content. Don't play this game.
8. The Festival
Dir. Iain Morris
Released: 14th August
A painfully unfunny British comedy completely devoid of actual humour and lacking further in imagination, The Festival attempts to recapture the immature gags of the once-successful Inbetweeners series to terribly failed effect. It fumbles to create a pretence for the silly antics, forming a series of unamusing, derivative events that test your patience as a 30-minute pilot episode is painstakingly stretched to a feature-length. Broadly sketched and uninspiredly performed turns from the ensemble fail to elevate the lowest-common-denominator material and so, like Glastonbury after a summer downpour, The Festival is a complete washout.
7. Holmes & Watson
Dir. Etan Cohen
Released: 26th December
Holmes & Watson arrived in cinemas at the last minute and secured itself a position on this most undesirable list. No thanks to an unpleasant script that relies on the most one-note, moronic humour, and an overwhelmingly grating performance from Will Ferrell, the supposedly comedic retelling of the Arthur Conon Doyle canon will have the great writer spinning in his grave, a dismal experience that almost entirely blemishes the great Sherlock stories. John C. Reilly comes the closest to giving a good performance but surrounded by such abysmal work elsewhere, I was the one afoot towards the cinema door as soon as the credits began rolling.
6. Mom & Dad
Dir. Brian Taylor
Released: 9th March
Mom & Dad is one of those marmite filmmaking styles that will be loved by as many people as it is loathed by; unfortunately, I feel squarely in the latter category. It is 83 minutes of awfulness, neither violent or funny enough to fulfil the quota for the individual genres, nevermind one that attempts to merge the two into a successful end-product. Gonzo set pieces fuel your irritation; irritation over the lazy filmmaking decisions and techniques on display, with a complete disregard for tension or substance in exchange for something far more perplexing and wacky. A complete write-off, self-indulgent garbage that cannot justify its own existence, Mom & Dad should go to the naughty step.
Dir. Jennifer Yuh Nelson
Released: 10th August
Dull and recycled at best, incoherent and vapid at worst, The Darkest Minds is a terrible misfire. For a genre that has stagnated beyond recognition, Minds sure does hammer home those conventions and tropes to remind you of superior efforts, making this shameless imitation all the more exasperating. While not ideal, a film can feel like it's retreading old ground but still find the narrative and thematic space to say something new - but there's nothing remotely interesting to be said in this one, leading to a situation that becomes increasingly frustrating as every excruciating minute ticks by. Easily one of the year's very worst, The Darkest Minds makes Divergent look like The Hunger Games
4. Rampage
Dir. Brad Peyton
Released: 11th April
Big and dumb but not a lot of fun, Brad Peyton's Rampage was one of two films to feature Dwayne Johnson attempting to charm his way through a brainless blockbuster. Unfortunately for the brand, neither were any good but Rampage was worse. So abysmal that any potential for fun is obliterated by completely shambolic, irredeemable and incompetent filmmaking, Rampage is a blockbuster as senseless as it is incoherent, as soulless as it is empty of anything resembling dexterous filmmaking. George the Gorilla gives the best performance and he's CGI'd.
3. The 15:17 To Paris
Dir. Clint Eastwood
Released: 9th February
“My God is bigger than your statistics" is a line spoken during the first five minutes of this film, and it told me everything I needed to know about Clint Eastwood's audacious project. It's undoubtedly ambitious - using the men involved in the attempted terror attack the film is built around - but it's heavy-handed execution, painfully wooden performances (from the actors and non-actors alike) and abysmal screenplay result in a total trainwreck of a movie.
2. How To Talk To Girls At Parties
Dir. John Cameron Mitchell
Released: 11th May
"Sometimes, batshit works. If a film can grasp it eccentricities and run with them, embracing its weirdness with enthusiasm and gusto, the results can be exciting. But How To Talk To Girls At Parties is a dreadful charade, a completely incompetent mess. Utterly mind-numbing, soul-destroying and without a single redeeming feature - heck, this is responsible for the worst performance of Hollywood star Nicole Kidman's career - it is like a student film, with cheap, tacky production values and the first dreadful performers on hand called in to deliver an utterly nonsensical, barmy screenplay. Parties is a vicious assault on every one of you senses, with dire, odious theatrics and an incomprehensible plot making this dreadful mayhem one of the year's very worst.
1. Mile 22
Dir. Peter Berg
Released: 19th September
Mile 22 is a perpetually angry film. A flag-waving, aggressive display of extreme patriotism that paints every foreigner as either a criminal, an assassin or contemptuous collateral damage, it is a relentless barrage of offensive character work, despicable morality and horrendous narrative decisions that isolates itself as one of the nastiest pieces of work to be released to a mainstream audience. Lea Carpenter's screenplay painfully combines hateful characters and exasperating dialogue with an utterly dull, aggravating storyline that capitalises on post-9/11 fears with a complete rejection of decency or sensitivity. In between incessant gunfire and undecipherable speech is an attempt at humour, as horrendously-judged and distasteful as imagined, completely failing to lighten the tone as intended and doing more harm than good in the short and long run. I'd rather be dragged over 22 miles of broken glass than experience this again.
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Check back over the coming days as my 25 favourite films of the year are announced!
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Check back over the coming days as my 25 favourite films of the year are announced!